{"id":130,"date":"2007-05-24T11:53:27","date_gmt":"2007-05-24T11:53:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kariyeryolculugu.com\/blog\/2007\/05\/24\/gizli-uyum-efsanesi\/"},"modified":"2007-05-24T11:53:27","modified_gmt":"2007-05-24T11:53:27","slug":"gizli-uyum-efsanesi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kariyeryolculugu.com\/blog\/2007\/05\/24\/gizli-uyum-efsanesi\/","title":{"rendered":"Gizli Uyum Efsanesi"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\">\u0130leti\u015fim ile ilgili toplumda genel kan\u0131lar vard\u0131r. Do\u011fru oldu\u011funu sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z genel kan\u0131lar. \u00d6zellikle de kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 konu\u015farak ve birbirimizi daha iyi anlayarak problemlerin \u00fcstesinden gelebilece\u011fimiz kan\u0131s\u0131 yayg\u0131nd\u0131r. <\/font><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\">Ge\u00e7enlerde University of California, Berkeley\u2019de e\u011fitim veren, Amerikan\u0131n tan\u0131nm\u0131\u015f yazarlar\u0131ndan Dr. David Stiebel\u2019in \u2018<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/When-Talking-Makes-Things-Worse\/dp\/1888430435\" title=\"Konustukca Batiyoruz\"><span style=\"font-size:10pt;color:blue;font-family:Tahoma;\">Konu\u015ftuk\u00e7a Bat\u0131yoruz\u2019 <\/span><\/a>isimli kitab\u0131n\u0131 okuyordum. Dr. Stiegel, bu yayg\u0131n kan\u0131n\u0131n neden yanl\u0131\u015f oldu\u011funu ve nas\u0131l stratejiler geli\u015ftirmeniz gerekti\u011fini anlat\u0131yor. Dr. Stiebel kitab\u0131nda \u2018\u0130nsanlardaki Gizli Uyum Efsanesi\u2019 ad\u0131n\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131yan ve kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131 geli\u015ftirme yakla\u015f\u0131m\u0131n\u0131n, olaylar\u0131 daha da k\u00f6t\u00fcle\u015ftirdi\u011fini anlatan bir durumdan bahsediyor. \u0130\u015fte bu Gizli Uyum Efsanesinin p\u00fcf noktalar\u0131:<\/font><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\">\u00a0<\/font><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\"><span style=\"font-size:10pt;color:gray;font-family:Tahoma;\">\u0130nsanlar\u0131n birbirini daha iyi anlamas\u0131, t\u00fcm meseleleri \u00e7\u00f6zemez. \u0130nsanlar\u0131n birbirini daha iyi anlamas\u0131, birbirlerinden uzakla\u015fmas\u0131na yol a\u00e7abilir. Genellikle kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131zdakini ne kadar \u00e7ok anlarsan\u0131z, ondan o kadar az ho\u015flan\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z.<\/span><\/font> <\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\"><span style=\"font-size:10pt;color:gray;font-family:Tahoma;\">As\u0131l niyetinizi s\u00f6ylemeden \u00f6nce iyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn. As\u0131l niyetinizin, kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131zdaki insan\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesiyle uyu\u015ftu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnebilirsiniz. Ama \u00fc\u00e7 tuza\u011fa kar\u015f\u0131 dikkatli olun: <\/span><\/font><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\"><span style=\"font-size:10pt;color:gray;font-family:Tahoma;\">* <\/span><\/font><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\"><span style=\"font-size:10pt;color:gray;font-family:Tahoma;\">Niyetinizi d\u0131\u015fa vurmak, kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131zdakinin sizi s\u00f6m\u00fcrmesine f\u0131rsat verebilir.<\/span><\/font><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\"><span style=\"font-size:10pt;color:gray;font-family:Tahoma;\"><br \/>\n* <\/span><\/font><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\"><span style=\"font-size:10pt;color:gray;font-family:Tahoma;\">Amac\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131\u011fa vurursan\u0131z, kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131zdaki ki\u015fi, amac\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 sizden \u00f6nce ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirmek i\u00e7in sizinle rekabete girebilir.<br \/>\n* <\/span><\/font><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\"><span style=\"font-size:10pt;color:gray;font-family:Tahoma;\">Ger\u00e7ek niyetiniz, kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131zdaki insanla aran\u0131zda bir z\u0131tl\u0131k yaratabilir.<\/span><\/font><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"> <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\"><span style=\"font-size:10pt;color:gray;font-family:Tahoma;\">Akl\u0131n\u0131zdan ge\u00e7enleri s\u00f6ylemeden \u00f6nce ne yapmak istedi\u011finizi iyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn: kendinizi ifade etmek mi yoksa kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131zdaki insan\u0131 ikna etmek mi istiyorsunuz? S\u00f6zlerinize dikkat etmeden kendinizi ifade etmenin meseleleri \u00e7\u00f6zmek i\u00e7in iyi bir y\u00f6ntem oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeyin.<\/span><\/font><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\"><span style=\"font-size:10pt;color:gray;font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><\/font><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\"><span style=\"font-size:10pt;color:gray;font-family:Tahoma;\">\u0130\u00e7inde bulundu\u011funuz duruma uygun bir strateji yarat\u0131n. Mevcut stratejiniz, kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131zdakiyle daha iyi anla\u015fman\u0131z\u0131 sa\u011flayabilece\u011fi gibi, size zarar da verebilir.<\/span><\/font><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\">Stratejik ileti\u015fim kurmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmemizin ve uygulamam\u0131z\u0131n sadece i\u015f hayat\u0131nda de\u011fil ayn\u0131 zamanda hayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n her safhas\u0131nda bize ba\u015far\u0131 sa\u011flayaca\u011f\u0131 ku\u015fkusuz. Bunun i\u00e7inde <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/psychcentral.com\/library\/id106.html\"><span style=\"font-size:10pt;color:blue;font-family:Tahoma;\">insanlar\u0131 olduklar\u0131 gibi kabul ederek <\/span><\/a>ileti\u015fim kurmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmek ve bizim istedi\u011fimiz gibi davranmalar\u0131n\u0131 beklememizin yanl\u0131\u015f oldu\u011funu fark etmemiz gerekiyor. \u0130nsanlardan kendimiz gibi olmalar\u0131n\u0131 beklemek bir sonu\u00e7 vermeyece\u011fi gibi ileti\u015fimi de g\u00fc\u00e7le\u015ftirecektir. Ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 olduklar\u0131 gibi kabul edebilmek i\u00e7inse, ilk \u00f6nce <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/www.oaktreecounseling.com\/Are%20You%20Self.htm\" title=\"kend\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 kabul etmek\"><span style=\"font-size:10pt;color:blue;font-family:Tahoma;\">kendimizi oldu\u011fumuz gibi kabul edebilmeliyiz<\/span><\/a>.<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\">Stratejik \u0130leti\u015fim bazen politik olmak ile \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015ftirilebiliyor. D\u00fcr\u00fcst olmamak veya kendin olmamak gibi alg\u0131lanabiliyor. Yap\u0131lan ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar g\u00f6steriyor ki, ne zaman, nerede ve nas\u0131l konu\u015fmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fine do\u011fru karar verebilen ki\u015filer, hayatta daha fazla ba\u015far\u0131 kazanabiliyorlar. Bu da her zaman istedi\u011fimiz gibi konu\u015fmak yerine, s\u00f6zlerimizi se\u00e7erek konu\u015fman\u0131n faydal\u0131 oldu\u011funa i\u015faret ediyor. <\/font><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\">\u00a0<\/font><\/span><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><span style=\"font-family:Tahoma;\"><font size=\"2\">\u00dcnl\u00fc Amerikal\u0131 \u015eair ve Yazar Ralp Waldo Emerson, Anla\u015f\u0131lmak bir L\u00fckst\u00fcr demi\u015f. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc asl\u0131nda anla\u015f\u0131labilmek, kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131zdaki ki\u015finin sizi anlamaya ne kadar haz\u0131r oldu\u011fuyla ilgilidir. T\u0131pk\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmek gibi. \u00d6\u011frenmeye haz\u0131r olmayan bir insana bilgi y\u00fcklemek ne kadar zorsa, s\u00f6yledi\u011finizi anlamaya haz\u0131r olmayan bir ki\u015fiye laf anlatmak da o kadar zordur. <\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u0130leti\u015fim ile ilgili toplumda genel kan\u0131lar vard\u0131r. Do\u011fru oldu\u011funu sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z genel kan\u0131lar. \u00d6zellikle de kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 konu\u015farak ve birbirimizi daha iyi anlayarak problemlerin \u00fcstesinden gelebilece\u011fimiz kan\u0131s\u0131 yayg\u0131nd\u0131r. Ge\u00e7enlerde University of California, Berkeley\u2019de e\u011fitim veren, Amerikan\u0131n tan\u0131nm\u0131\u015f yazarlar\u0131ndan Dr. David Stiebel\u2019in \u2018Konu\u015ftuk\u00e7a Bat\u0131yoruz\u2019 isimli kitab\u0131n\u0131 okuyordum. Dr. Stiegel, bu yayg\u0131n kan\u0131n\u0131n neden yanl\u0131\u015f oldu\u011funu ve nas\u0131l stratejiler [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[],"views":3761,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kariyeryolculugu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kariyeryolculugu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kariyeryolculugu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kariyeryolculugu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kariyeryolculugu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=130"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kariyeryolculugu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kariyeryolculugu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kariyeryolculugu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kariyeryolculugu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}